August 29, 2005

Horse 392 - I'm A Metric Man, Every Inch Of The Way

The USA and Britain are holding out against the rest of the world, trying to stop a scourge of terror desprately scratching at their doorstep. I refer to that most gross stench of foul horror that is... The Metric System.

The Imperial measurement system was based on useful things that normal people use. A pound of cheese, or sausages, or butter is a nice tactile amount of stuff. The Pound Sterling derives its value originally from exactly what is says it does, that is one Pound of Sterling silver or 925 fine.

A pint is also incredbly useful. A pint of milk is what you'd expect the milko to leave on your doorstep. A pint of HP Sauce ensures that there's enough for everyone and who doesn't enjoy sinking a few pints at the local with your mates?

Lengthwise, a inch is nice and small, a foot will handle things like door heights and ceiling heights, a furlong although a bit archaic is perfect for counting out horse tracks and the mile is ubiquitous for measuring large distances. One always refers to mileage and not kilometerage.

So then could someone please explain the mystery that is the tyres on my Ka? They read 165/65 R13 which means that they're 165mm across with an aspect ratio of 65% but with 13 inch rims.

Er?

The nuts holding the wheel on are a 19mm socket which standard imperial automotive threads.

Er?

Ah yes, the metric system. Trust the French to invent something so unuseful then impose it on the world. BOO!

No comments: