September 22, 2005

Horse 405 - Call Centres

One of the consequences of the Global Village and indeed that Global Economy is that an increasing amount of jobs are being outsourced or moved offshore. I find this quite a lot when talking to finance companies like AMEX or increasingly when speaking to telcos like Telstra or Vodaphone.

I don't have a problem persay with the outsourcing of jobs for simple tasks such as changing details in a database but I do happen to find some aspects of the whole concept of an offshore call centre daunting. What happens for instance if I have a technical fault that requires a trained technician to fix the problem? Only just the other day I had to ask Telstra to cancel a phone line, I spoke with someone who had nary a clue how to go about doing it nor it would seem what I was talking about.

Often you can play a bit mean and trick these people out. Usually they are briefed on points of small talk, and are told that to improve customer service it may be helpful to engage in small talk on matters such as the weather or national politics. If in a lot of cases the call centre happens to be in the sub-continent, I like to talk about the Indian domestic cricket competition - let's see how they like their own tactics.

One of my friends lives in Centennial Park but probably as a result of a call centre encounter, all mail addressed from ANZ arrives addressed to St Daniel Park. You can just imagine a postie in the sorting office thinking "Where the heck is that?" and then asking a co-worker in a typical Aussie whine "Where's Senndenneal Paark mate?" "Near the criggit ground?" "Thanks mate"

To reverse the process, can you imagine an Indian ringing up a call centre in Australia. "I have a problem with my credit card, can you help me?" The response of "Yeah, it's stuffed. You're about as broke as a dead dingos doorknob. You aint paid the last bill, have you got roos loose in the top paddock?"

Caaarn the call centres, lift your game. Give us an RHG and take a GHLAY.

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