June 07, 2017

Horse 2283 - Second Level Papercut.

There are many things in this world which can only be classified as papercuts. These are those little tiny things which are annoying but so petty that it's not as if the world is made significantly worse bythem. You know the sort of thing: like when someone on the train decides to have their seat face backwards despite being able to flip it over and have it face in the direction of travel, or that although hotdogs come in packets of eight the buns come in sixes, or even that corned beef and spam still comes in a can with the key and the potential to cut your fingers despite there being ring pull technology available. These things abound because the world is a complex place and full of people who are like me and are definitely fallible.

Let me add to the pettiest of petty things that annoyed me this week with what I saw in the back window of someone's car. There was a little red diamond sign which read:
"Child in car."
This is surely a second level papercut because it isn't just one corruption of a naff little sign but it has gone one step further and corrupted a corruption.

The original phrase, which after much hunting defies to reveal an origin story, is "Baby On Board". I have not been able to determine where it came from but my best guess is that it was probably from a company which makes fold up prams which are stowed away in the back of people's cars. "Baby On Board" conveys the message that the driver is possibly addled because children can be terrible little monsters who are prone to chucking tantrums and the driver is hoping for a little bit of kindness on the road; this is a noble purpose.
"Baby On Board" is an unobtrusive wee little message but most importantly it is alliterative. In most cases it is on a little yellow diamond which is supposed to invoke the memory of an advisory road sign, of the type that you're already going to see in that environment. As a piece of alliteration, it is a fun thing to say and there's even the hint of the kind of noises that a baby makes anyway. Whoever originally designed this little sign should be given a design award and a skippy badge. This deserves two thumbs up.

I don't object to the derivatives of this such as "Brat On Board", "Little Princess On Board", or as I saw once "Beast On Board". These signs convey a playful sense of fun, which comes about because we already know what the original sign was.
Now to my papercut. "Child On Board" which is the first derivative of the little yellow sign isn't fun. Although it is truthful, it is prosaically dull. To come up with this, either you had someone who doesn't speak English who is unfamiliar with the language and thought that this was an equivalent, or you had someone who does speak English and lacks any sense of rhythm or fun. This is the sign of an actuary, an insurance comptroller or a constitutional lawyer. "Child On Board" is like giving your children kale for dessert.
One step further down the path of function over form is "Child In Car". This is 100% practical and 0% fun. This is like arriving at an international comedy festival and having someone read the ingredients list on a packet of cornflakes in monotone as an act. The red diamond on the back of this car I would take to be as informative as the Flammable Liquid 3 sign that you see on the side of aerosol cans - it tells you exactly what to expect, that the contents are volatile and that there is no fun to be found here. There is no sugar and spice and all things nice, no slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails, but only Dioxyribol-mesabutane-6benzol3-ethanapate.

To tell you the truth, I have more sympathy for someone with a "Baby On Board" sign than someone with a "Child In Car" sign, even though they fulfil exactly the same function. Someone with a "Child In Car" sign in the back window of their car has actively gone out of their way to put it there. They have actively ignored a sense of fun and have chosen to obey their inner actuary rather than their inner child.
There is a helpful benefit to the "Child In Car" sign; it instantly conveys to other motorists that this is a bad driver. In the same way that a Southern Cross sticker tells other motorists that the driver is overly aggressive and a There are many things in this world which can only be classified as papercuts. These are those little tiny things which are annoying but so petty that it's not as if the world is made significantly worse bythem. You know the sort of thing: like when someone on the train decides to have their seat face backwards despite being able to flip it over and have it face in the direction of travel, or that although hotdogs come in packets of eight the buns come in sixes, or even that corned beef and spam still comes in a can with the key and the potential to cut your fingers despite there being ring pull technology available. These things abound because the world is a complex place and full of people who are like me and are definitely fallible.

Let me add to the pettiest of petty things that annoyed me this week with what I saw in the back window of someone's car. There was a little red diamond sign which read:
"Child in car."
This is surely a second level papercut because it isn't just one corruption of a naff little sign but it has gone one step further and corrupted a corruption.

The original phrase, which after much hunting defies to reveal an origin story, is "Baby On Board". I have not been able to determine where it came from but my best guess is that it was probably from a company which makes fold up prams which are stowed away in the back of people's cars. "Baby On Board" conveys the message that the driver is possibly addled because children can be terrible little monsters who are prone to chucking tantrums and the driver is hoping for a little bit of kindness on the road; this is a noble purpose.
"Baby On Board" is an unobtrusive wee little message but most importantly it is alliterative. In most cases it is on a little yellow diamond which is supposed to invoke the memory of an advisory road sign, of the type that you're already going to see in that environment. As a piece of alliteration, it is a fun thing to say and there's even the hint of the kind of noises that a baby makes anyway. Whoever originally designed this little sign should be given a design award and a skippy badge. This deserves two thumbs up.

I don't object to the derivatives of this such as "Brat On Board", "Little Princess On Board", or as I saw once "Beast On Board". These signs convey a playful sense of fun, which comes about because we already know what the original sign was.
Now to my papercut. "Child On Board" which is the first derivative of the little yellow sign isn't fun. Although it is truthful, it is prosaically dull. To come up with this, either you had someone who doesn't speak English who is unfamiliar with the language and thought that this was an equivalent, or you had someone who does speak English and lacks any sense of rhythm or fun. This is the sign of an actuary, an insurance comptroller or a constitutional lawyer. "Child On Board" is like giving your children kale for dessert.
One step further down the path of function over form is "Child In Car". This is 100% practical and 0% fun. This is like arriving at an international comedy festival and having someone read the ingredients list on a packet of cornflakes in monotone as an act. The red diamond on the back of this car I would take to be as informative as the Flammable Liquid 3 sign that you see on the side of aerosol cans - it tells you exactly what to expect, that the contents are volatile and that there is no fun to be found here. There is no sugar and spice and all things nice, no slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails, but only Dioxyribol-mesabutane-6benzol3-ethanapate.

To tell you the truth, I have more sympathy for someone with a "Baby On Board" sign than someone with a "Child In Car" sign, even though they fulfil exactly the same function. Someone with a "Child In Car" sign in the back window of their car has actively gone out of their way to put it there. They have actively ignored a sense of fun and have chosen to obey their inner actuary rather than their inner child.
There is a helpful benefit to the "Child In Car" sign; it instantly conveys to other motorists that this is a bad driver. In the same way that a Southern Cross sticker tells other motorists that the driver is overly aggressive and a There are many things in this world which can only be classified as papercuts. These are those little tiny things which are annoying but so petty that it's not as if the world is made significantly worse bythem. You know the sort of thing: like when someone on the train decides to have their seat face backwards despite being able to flip it over and have it face in the direction of travel, or that although hotdogs come in packets of eight the buns come in sixes, or even that corned beef and spam still comes in a can with the key and the potential to cut your fingers despite there being ring pull technology available. These things abound because the world is a complex place and full of people who are like me and are definitely fallible.

Let me add to the pettiest of petty things that annoyed me this week with what I saw in the back window of someone's car. There was a little red diamond sign which read:
"Child in car."
This is surely a second level papercut because it isn't just one corruption of a naff little sign but it has gone one step further and corrupted a corruption.

The original phrase, which after much hunting defies to reveal an origin story, is "Baby On Board". I have not been able to determine where it came from but my best guess is that it was probably from a company which makes fold up prams which are stowed away in the back of people's cars. "Baby On Board" conveys the message that the driver is possibly addled because children can be terrible little monsters who are prone to chucking tantrums and the driver is hoping for a little bit of kindness on the road; this is a noble purpose.
"Baby On Board" is an unobtrusive wee little message but most importantly it is alliterative. In most cases it is on a little yellow diamond which is supposed to invoke the memory of an advisory road sign, of the type that you're already going to see in that environment. As a piece of alliteration, it is a fun thing to say and there's even the hint of the kind of noises that a baby makes anyway. Whoever originally designed this little sign should be given a design award and a skippy badge. This deserves two thumbs up.

I don't object to the derivatives of this such as "Brat On Board", "Little Princess On Board", or as I saw once "Beast On Board". These signs convey a playful sense of fun, which comes about because we already know what the original sign was.
Now to my papercut. "Child On Board" which is the first derivative of the little yellow sign isn't fun. Although it is truthful, it is prosaically dull. To come up with this, either you had someone who doesn't speak English who is unfamiliar with the language and thought that this was an equivalent, or you had someone who does speak English and lacks any sense of rhythm or fun. This is the sign of an actuary, an insurance comptroller or a constitutional lawyer. "Child On Board" is like giving your children kale for dessert.
One step further down the path of function over form is "Child In Car". This is 100% practical and 0% fun. This is like arriving at an international comedy festival and having someone read the ingredients list on a packet of cornflakes in monotone as an act. The red diamond on the back of this car I would take to be as informative as the Flammable Liquid 3 sign that you see on the side of aerosol cans - it tells you exactly what to expect, that the contents are volatile and that there is no fun to be found here. There is no sugar and spice and all things nice, no slugs and snails and puppy dog's tails, but only Dioxyribol-mesabutane-6benzol3-ethanapate.

To tell you the truth, I have more sympathy for someone with a "Baby On Board" sign than someone with a "Child In Car" sign, even though they fulfil exactly the same function. Someone with a "Child In Car" sign in the back window of their car has actively gone out of their way to put it there. They have actively ignored a sense of fun and have chosen to obey their inner actuary rather than their inner child.
There is a helpful benefit to the "Child In Car" sign; it instantly conveys to other motorists that this is a bad driver. In the same way that a Southern Cross sticker tells other motorists that the driver is overly aggressive and a Frangipani sticker tells other motorists that the driver is blissfully unaware of other road users, the "Child In Car" sign says that the driver is uncaring. I can live with the My Family stick figure signs, far too many Western Suburbs Magpies stickers to be sensible, Triple M Rocks Narwee stickers, Ferrari stickers on a Volvo, and even one sign that I saw in the back window of a car which read "I Am Awful" but putting a "Child In Car" sign in your car is like putting a banana in a bread roll and calling it a Vegetarian Hot Dog - you can but why would you?

"Child In Car": it isn't wrong but you still shouldn't do it. It is a second level papercut.
sticker tells other motorists that the driver is blissfully unaware of other road users, the "Child In Car" sign says that the driver is uncaring. I can live with the My Family stick figure signs, far too many Western Suburbs Magpies stickers to be sensible, Triple M Rocks Narwee stickers, Ferrari stickers on a Volvo, and evenone sign that I saw in the back window of a car which read "I Am Awful" but putting a "Child In Car" sign in your car is like putting a banana in a bread roll and calling it a Vegetarian Hot Dog - you can but why would you?

"Child In Car": it isn't wrong but you still shouldn't do it. It is a second level papercut.
sticker tells other motorists that the driver is blissfully unaware of other road users, the "Child In Car" sign says that the driver is uncaring. I can live with the My Family stick figure signs, far too many Western Suburbs Magpies stickers to be sensible, Triple M Rocks Narwee stickers, Ferrari stickers on a Volvo, and evenone sign that I saw in the back window of a car which read "I Am Awful" but putting a "Child In Car" sign in your car is like putting a banana in a bread roll and calling it a Vegetarian Hot Dog - you can but why would you?

"Child In Car": it isn't wrong but you still shouldn't do it. It is a second level papercut.

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